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Showing posts from January, 2021

This Day Will Be Remembered…

  Photo by Peter Simmons on  Pexels.com Probably I have written the hardest email in my life. I was offered a fully funded admission in Finance Ph.D. program from the University of Central Florida, USA. For an average person like me, this should sound like the most awaited opportunity in my entire life. I spent a whole year in my life to have that long-desired offer letter from UCF. But at this point in time, I am sailing for an unknown destination leaving a certain life of a decent career. My ship was ready, the journey was clear, end line was visible; still, I am listening to a voice inside me, who is murmuring: Don’t go, Sudip, you are destined to do something bigger. Just don’t go!

Dawn

Photo by Sebastian Pociecha on  Pexels.com I was up before the others, before the birds, before the sun. I drank a cup of coffee, wolfed down a piece of toast, put on my shorts and sweatshirt, and laced up my green running shoes. Then slipped quietly out the back door. I stretched my legs, my hamstrings, my lower back, and groaned as I took the first few balky steps down the cool road, into the fog. Why is it always so hard to get started? Photo by Pixabay on  Pexels.com There were no cars, no people, no signs of life. I was all alone, the world to myself — though the trees seemed oddly aware of me. Then again, this was Oregon. The trees always seemed to know. The trees always had your back. What a beautiful place to be from, I thought, gazing around. Calm, green, tranquil — I was proud to call Oregon my home, proud to call little Portland my place of birth. But I felt a stab of regret, too. Though beautiful, Oregon struck some people as the kind of place where nothing big had ever hap

Equanimity

Photo by Simon Migaj on  Pexels.com Once I boasted to one of my students, ‘You know what, I can clear up my mind and think nothing for five minutes at a stretch!’ It was 2014 I guess, neither did I know anything about meditation back then, nor had I practiced ever (I regularly read Bhagavad Geeta though, that was a sheer meditation unbeknownst to me). And most surprisingly, I thought that to be a normal state of mind – like everybody else might have the power to clear up the mind for five minutes. Can you feel the peace kept inside those palms? Photo by Pixabay on  Pexels.com Perhaps I am overstating the timeframe, but it was more or less 300 seconds for me. Then I entered the era of mental turbulence, complaisance, and gratification – a constant state of living high maybe? The upshot is, perhaps I have made some sweet memories. But in expense, I lost my mental stability.  In one word, I lost equanimity. Equanimity is a state of mind that can keep oneself steady on a rocking boat. An

A Modicum of Purposelessness, Plethora of Disorganization

Photo by Daria Shevtsova on  Pexels.com It has been almost 2 months (1 month 18 days to be precise) since I wrote my last article. Not a big deal though, but I promised myself that I shall keep writing in my blog four times a month at least. Have I fulfilled the challenge that I took, Photo by Allan Mason  Pexels.com Neither I have been bogged down with an intense workload, nor facing any health issues. However, probably I am facing mental trouble, big time. A tiny virus of purposelessness has infected me recently. It’s hard to constantly keep myself motivated. I admit downhills are unavoidable. But sliding through a downhill for a long, long time eventually accelerates the fall that you can’t stop on a sudden. Sliding through the downhill abyss, Photo by Volker Meyer on  Pexels.com For me, I make frequent plans from dusk till dawn. I make routines, book google calendars, use sticky notes, or different android apps – you barely name some trick, probably I have done that to keep mys