Skip to main content

My First Day of Meditation

 

If you need self-control and mindful presence, try meditation

I am actively trying to restructure my life – mostly conform to a daily routine for personal rewirement.

In the process, today was my first day of vipassana meditation.

Last night I promised myself that I shall wake up at 5.30 am, every morning, and start my 15 minutes of vipassana meditation.

Today, I woke up at 5.30 am, and someone inside my mind somehow convinced me, ‘Well, it is too early. Look, even the sun is not up. Sleep for another 30 minutes. You’ll be fine.’

And I immediately fell asleep!

Seems like all my last night’s determination went in vain.

All I need is mental peace

And then, I woke up at 9 am, not even close to my daily 7-7.30 daily routine.

Perhaps, this came from my personal remorse and compunction. I felt, ‘Since I have already deceived myself, why not commit some extra crime!’

However, another important observation about my mindfulness – I can now hardly concentrate on anything.

When I was trying to focus on my 15 minutes vipassana meditation, my mind abnormally resisted and created physical pain to stop the meditation.

I could feel mental resistance and turmoil, some internal hormonal secretion was rushing inside, and I frequently felt the urge to stop the meditation in no time!

A perfect mental balance requires ages of active mindful consciousness practice

Well, somehow I managed to complete the full 15 minutes course. Today, my personal observations are –

· I have a toxic element inside my body, which frequently forces me to break my concentration. I don’t know what it is, but the feeling is real. It seemed like injecting medicine through my vein caused some sort of nervous breakdown.

· My mind has been wired to welcome instant gratification.

· I tend to think about multiple tasks at the same time and end up doing nothing.

· My mind is constantly wandering.

It is time to burn my boats and focus on the real tasks of life. Today my parents also subtly mocked my present condition – that I am jobless and don’t have a real aim in my life.

It is time to move on.

Location: Dhaka, Bangladesh

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A Trader with an Investment Mindset

Invest in good stock... Being a finance student, I have always been told that investors make much more profit compared to traders in the long run.  In a sense, that statement is apparently true. If you take the historical gain reference of traders vs. investors, the latter will come triumphant without any confusion. But remember, few traders make much more profit compared to investors.  For the traders, the profit curve is seemingly positively skewed, only a few can truly make a profit, but most of them lose money and cancel out the average profit. For the investors, the profit curve follows a normal distribution and returns an average profit to the clients in the long haul. And most importantly, it is always the small ticket-sized shares that give you the best return. For instance, a stock priced at BDT 10 has the potential to go up to 20 or 30 TK, giving you a return from 100% to 200%. But imagine a good stock that is already priced at BDT 600, how much can it go up? I always calcula
2 comments
Read more

I Know How Fake Everything Is

We had an AC installation project today at Manikgonj. Our technician team went to the site, saw a 30'' thick wall that has to be pierced for copper piping. And they backed off. I was communicating over the phone with my PSL, with a heavy voice, pretending everything is under control.  Those are miniature life hick-ups that an entrepreneur has to face, regularly, and for me - intentionally. Only a few have the guts to continue after all these. I want to be one of them of course. January 2022 Update: Another year has gone by without any fruitful progress. Still, we don't see any tangible source of revenue. We are kinda parasite of Muspana. This burns me like hell, I wanted to live an independent life. That's why I chose to be an entrepreneur Now is the real challenge. What value am I providing to my users? What is the one big vision that can change the lives of billions? Can I acquire a big investment ever? Why am I so self-centered? Am I all after money? Today a kid 10 y
2 comments
Read more

Network = Net Worth

Need to boost up my networking skill So far I have been a socially awkward person. I don't like public gatherings, I avoid phone calls, even I don't have any active social media account. For me, deciding to do business was an internal soul call, which I hardly could relate to my shortcomings. Almost three years back when I was an employee of LankaBangla Finance, my SME head told me, ''Why don't you laugh man? There is a Chinese Proverb you know - if you can't laugh, don't open a shop.'' I thought a smiling face is a mere redundant verbal expression. Unnecessary, showy, sycophantic.  At this moment, after almost a year in the business world, I am to words changing my mind. In fact, a smiling face can win million hearts, and those million hearts are money in business. Am I sounding too commercial? Probably am, but smiling is also prophylactic. If you love yourself, you should smile. Another reason behind smiling is - human nature is precoded to accept
2 comments
Read more